At night I'm not aware of anything
until suddenly there is the smell of orange
a man who talks to me
dressed in nothing
what leaves to guess

Sleeping I know everything
good and evil, a man a man
a word a word and action
the world full of grounds and seed
from which a magical mixture grows

Dreaming I see sharp and soft
a struggle of grass and fur and
right through green and white
stream blue layers of air
interflowing colours

bed-free love

Rain tingling on the lake
pinpricks in my skin
under the smooth water surface
I see you for a second
back again

However fast and far the water flows
the stones are still beneath the sand
heavy and visible without self-deceit
Sunk memories come
back again

I do miss you, our love
surrendered to rivers
and shared itself in the sea
once it will rain
back again

Stubble field
husks in the air
dry summer scents

poplar trees along the ditch
our haystack at the end
inside, out of sight

our cave
pulled and pushed
in the long yellow grass

I dream that I am with you
lying there, naked
like newborn animals

that's all
nothing else matters
we may die

that's our secret
mum doesn't understand
she is afraid

Swimming pool conversations, half-naked
and touch-ready making an impression
yes
shiny rubbing each other in
under the hems and guess
yes
familiar curious innocence
of drowsing together

no
no desperate glances at him
no way for him to sound out if I
no
no embraces
no sweet words
      please
no conquest with my breasts
      and longing mouth
no
no making his heart skip
      with bated breath, waiting

saying no
long before
he asks me

To visit him again
even against better judgment
and to think beyond my freedom
that he knows who I am and does not
have to guess at I want you

To see him gaze and look away
from the body under my clothes
incapable to sit still
clueless how to behave
just sighing: I want you

That he will press celestial words
upon my lips, in the saliva of my
I want you, and we, passionately
will fight each other's words again
in our code language for I want you

clothes put on to let them slip off
the cushion-wardrobes pulled
empty because you come

knocking love into each other
at the sound of an ordinary
working day blown inside

holding our breath
over our long backs
scratching nails bathed soft

awakening warm folds
exploring dozy skin
infinitely far our look

tongling in my fumbled mouth
tingling in all ten of my toes
both arms wingspread

sinking sighing in the depths
which unfold and you nest
yourself in and around me

The bedroom smells of perfume and powder
I wade through the colours of my clothes
half on their hangers

You are gone, you lie on the ground
compelling with all your love
on a photo of your arms
around me

You, the king, you wanted me
to be queenish, not indomitable
like a scratching cat

Everything is neat and tidy again
I have my wardrobe put in
and the other one
completely free

Forty, I still have hope
The glands in my breasts engorge
my desire, with big eyes

I bounce between decency
and groping, tripping
over crooked paving stones

spying for an opportunity
Where is my husband now
that I need him

to go for me?
Doesn't he smell my need?
I pull up a leg

my wrap skirt falls open
Half-hidden my butterfly
the promise of my powder puff

Times have changed, people have not
so I read, shelf after shelf in many languages
in books preserved for centuries
so self-evidently describing
the world as it once was

In the evening I experience their adventures
at night I dream of them, every day
they colour my body in a different way

my body longing
to be touched
and to lie eye to eye
longing for the embrace
of arms and a laugh

for sounds and smells
for the cold and the fire
of love

I don't need to ask anything
his shyness on my chest
says enough, breathing softly

over my skin next to
his warm cheeks
there is nothing more beautiful

than this, it is love
I can't do anything about it
I didn't do anything for it

it is a gift, the most beautiful
feeling a person can have
the peace of his surrender

to my gratitude
I will never forget this
it is an answer

forever, definite
if a promise
can be

unspoken

I didn't learn
to live, I just
got used to it

and try to be myself
with friends who don't make demands
and are available

when I come or shout
that I'm lonely
but with you it's different

Sometimes I don't know afterwards
whether we were connected
and then I get lost

in my thoughts, so
there is no contact
and I must embrace you

feel the firmness
of your body
to believe in us

Halfway I chatter chatter
teasingly to make you small
and then

I lick you big again, I smear
the pleasure, mixed
with the evening light

the blades on the ceiling
the long curtains, the yellow
of the walls and the two thick

armchairs of green-brown earth
A warm sigh floats over
our sweat of satisfaction

and then, once more
in me, your name, my name
whispering rhythmically

confused, my hair jumbled up
scents in our blood, and then
you can, then I am

Are you coming, today
I like to look at you again
laugh with you
and listen to you

Come, walk around
in my house, let me
look at you, the step aside
the tension of your buttocks

and your lips
that will kiss me
your hands that are allowed
to do everything I long for

I will not ask too much from you
you don't have to commit yourself
not for longer than I live
not to what you fear

You don't have to take care of me
just leave me alone
when I'm sick
It's enough

that you think of me

I don't look away
from the mirror, my
body that does not look
like the soul of my skin
knows it was
and can still point out
with fingers of desire
and memory eyes

I seduce yours
to touch me
eagerly hesitant
without knowing what
you are doing, going to do
have done, where
you stop, tingling
and devouring

streaming over
me, in me and
worldwide, sea
in sea, soul in soul
heart to heart
sigh in sigh
blood in blood
peace in peace

I undress voluntarily
The assistants lead me
to the middle

into the half-dark circle
of curious students who
search for the connection

between my bare legs
and the light swell
of my white shirt

I lower my eyes
and follow the instructions
of the professor

as if I see myself
in a film, turning around
in the circle

of light
of attention
of thin voices

Are you looking at the curve
below my navel, do you want
to expose me there?

     You're reserved
     and won't come any closer
     to my breath, my question

Is something burning inside you
is it blazing, is it smouldering
or should I light it?

     I don't smell you, no scent
     that excites a woman
     in her belly, in her heart

Don't you know what you want
with me, after today?
Can't you be honest

with yourself
and live relaxed
according to your ideals?

Paint my back with your beard
hair and your soft hard brush
Open me up

Hold my hips and
the hills of my body
massage my lips with your cap

Seal my other lips
in the soft breath of our
noses to our hearts

Caress quickly where it pleases
and come inside me, keep going
until we drift out into the sea

the sea of each other
one sea, without skin
merged into each other

I stand on the balcony
almost-normally thinking
of the men in the hall

looking over my clothes
and forming an image
of my body

So that is who I am
so that is how people relate
to one another, scanning

who they are
in the eyes of others
assessing each other

and weighing up who
they want to talk to and
flirt a little, who knows

what will come out of it and
what their hands and feet
will do, yes, I do know

who I am, but I also want
to hear it and feel it and
make it felt, make it felt

Anatomy is simple
there are billions of examples
of women like me

reproduction chambers
in a sturdy pelvis
bowels full of building blocks around it

That is the round core
of my body, my existence
Two mighty legs underneath

to get the food
and a thin superstructure
for support services

I'm used to it, I learned
to like it, that's the trick
of sex

The rest is also imagination
my ethics and my civilization
Together with you, I believe in it

Hand mirror

In the mountain with my man
of fire I have nothing to do
but to be happy

To entertain me
I sometimes appear
as a white virgin

in the world
before envious eyes and
unstoppable craving

to physically rediscover
myself once again
as new

My night and day last
longer than a human year
of the boys and the men

who string their shields
to the cords of my dress
falling open, showing

my beauty to be touched
to have the fragrant spring
of their foaming cream

massaged into my skin
of rose petals, being happy
without doing anything

Men among each other
having good laughs
at the ostrich girls

they are seeing in women:
big eyes looking up at them
They trim the little skirts

they blow up the breasts
they push the mouths round –
for each of them a candy girl

each of them a Betty
Betty Boop or Betty Bum
downy hands, downy belly

beefy girls, but downy women
they cannot fly away
and want sex all the time

Betty Boop or Betty Bum
in the boys' world
of men among each other

Just let me dance
and throw me off the mountain
away from the boring life
of the molluscs at the table

I prefer to go through the gate
of the gods and enter the world
tired of toil and reverse
dancing in the evenings

callouses under my feet
burning my intestines
if only I live, dancing
for myself and the neighbours

Just throw me out of the castle
off the stage in the dining hall
where the nobles feast
in clouds of perfume and beer

against the stench in the niches
where they urinate and defecate
for a kiss on my hand they come
to grope me, unnoticed

I can't just dress
as I want, even at home in my skin-
coloured shirt I close the curtains

so every now and then I must go
to the busy part of the beach
to see in many strange eyes
that I am beautiful, a pretty safe
making men and women curious

but only to fantasies
do I show myself, not to be undressed
and touched, but for
fantasies about yes-but and how
I would be on other days, a matter

of attention and sensing
how caring and prudent I am -
and then losing sleep over it

How a kiss feels, a hand
that is groping me
I don't talk about that

I watch it curiously
in the darkness of a movie theater
or at home, where I can press the pause

safely can surrender
to the thrill and merge
into the image, into the text

the uncovered terms
between wanting and not wanting
which assault me

with almost real hands

In bed it is nice
lying uncomfortably
feeling myself on all sides

more than one and a half
square meters of skin
exactly fitting

filled with warm feelings
that is me, in the flesh

The stretching
of my back and limbs
may have some cost

of shouting for attention
before they can relax and go
to sleep after the discharge

has
dancing
begun as
an exercise

a ritual fight to
be strong together
and did it develop into
what we understand by it

a light-footed walking and
embracing each other
free from worries
without being

naked

is dancing
just a fighting
game, to lose who
you have been so far

a cautiously performed
exploration and a training
whether the future can
be lived together and

whether you are
admitting me
and I you
for real

shows me Venus
in her mirror: without clothes
pearls or gold am I there
impressing myself

     That is love, genuine
     love inside, precious
     Each woman coming here
     would wish she had it

     Now the time has come
     because you have come
     so seize the day today
     for a happy end

     Give up small wishes
     resignation and patience
     only then there will be space
     for The Grand to be fulfilled

Confused I leave the tent
Did she look through me
and does she know more than I do?
Who will I meet in a moment?

A boy is calling, Madam
Madam, here around the corner!
Please come along, there is a café
and you are looking, aren't you?

He takes my hand and I know
now it may happen, it is
about seeing opportunities
and people

Dear mama, there's really no need to despair
for no man will touch me because I'm prepared
if smiles are no good I've a spray in my jack
and also I carry a stone in my pack

and we sang toothelaa, toothelee, toothelaahayhay

My daughter, dear daughter, why hurry, please listen
and demonstrate later, it saves you regret
a flattering boy will get round your resistance
he'll take you apart and will lay you in bed

and we sang toothelaa, toothelee, toothelaahayhay

Dear mama, the boy that was walking with me
has taught me the future is open and free
much greater and brighter than you've ever known
it started this weekend, these days time has flown!

And we sang toothelaa, toothelee, toothelaahayhay

The leader, she urged us: lie down and go slow
relax completely and let yourself go
and also she told me: you're not a little child
get rid of the spray and the stone, and she smiled

and we sang toothelaa, toothelee, toothelaahayhay

We kissed and we cuddled until it was light
it lasted too short, that very first night
oh mama, dear mama, it's true, I can tell
it's fun to protest, but it's tiring as well

and we sang toothelaa, toothelee, toothelaahayhay

No mama, dear mama, I'm through with your stress
this young man, he gave me his name and address
we'll marry, perhaps with a baby, we three
and happy we'll sing: this protest set us free

You can't just kiss me
in public for no reason
Should I cover my lips?
Are they too exposed
too red for you?

You can't just roll up
my shirt, unhook my bra
no matter how enjoying
my back arches
under your nails

You can't just undress me
if you feel like it
as if I feel the same
and it is allowed at all times
because I love you

You cannot just take for granted
how it goes, love remains
as it has begun
attentive and gentle
It has everything to lose

Village boys drive the harvest
princesses through Main Street

the eels in the source swim
answers for the lovers

who seek assurances, but we
lie on the attic mattress

and repeat what should never
end, we know it for sure

in every cell of our body
More real we cannot feel

like no one can reason away
diseases or torture, so

let us, weightlessly heavy, sink away
together in the smell of angelica

I stay with you, on a floor mattress
beside your bed, we wish

a future without hurrying anything
maybe test each other

see and hear each other
talk, to know and find

a hold in each other's eyes
what this is about

and whether love can be more
or different, whether our love can be

complete and we may
say the vows, daring

to believe them

He comes in me, I am open
and soft, there's a storm rising
Helplessly I bob in the flood
over the still empty earth

I'm afraid of being hurt
and going to bleed inside
I even might pass away
yet I feel peace

Deep within me, deeper and deeper
the waves rise and roll
They ravish me, massage me
and unfold my inner body

They reveal more and more
skin inside me, they lift me
with sweet convulsions
until I flood

and no longer have an exterior
absorbed in the beautiful power
of his warm, living buttocks
and then the weighty mystery

of his balls and the birdie
growing in my hand, coming in me
I melt into a quivering plasma
in the colours of the rainbow

He comes in without a word
undresses and points at me
from his golden locks of hair

with the power of his lordship
the natural armament of men
overbearing and selfish

but an overwhelming pleasure
when it enters me, rhythmically
taking me into ecstasies

making me drift
beyond any awareness
of bodily limits

Afterward, again
the wonder of the birdie
growing

with the slightest touch
of my lips, my tongue
and his desire

Only now I don't feel ashamed
of the pleasure, only now
that I know it

There was a danger
in my belly, abuse
would be my fate, shame

would punish me, and also
my parents and my sisters
all of them would suffer

if I didn't keep my distance
to protect the sacred
from animal lewdness

Only now I don't feel ashamed
I surrender to his lust
that ignites me, heats

and consumes me, chafes
my insides and breasts, and dies
in my soul, burning with joy

I walk past your house
I look for you in my bed, I dream
of your eyes, your beautiful hair

I grab you and don't let go
I take you to my mother, I long
for your hands, your strong arms

You bring me in your room
you put your head against my breasts, you feel
the pigeons in my breath

The winter is past, the rains are over
bushes and trees come into bloom, they rejoice
and sing with the birds

You take my veil away
you kiss my lips, you lick
the honey from my mouth

You see me more beautiful than the dawn
and the moon, with all my heart
is feed your desire

The storms have been weathered
the winds and the seas
the most important remains

the incomprehensible mystery
that you like to be with me
exposed to my hands

and my kisses, naked
beside me and, with a sigh
make us both feel

that life is good
our feelings are grown up now
we know the heaven of the skin

the twinkling stars
the sun in which we melt
and wake up anew

beauty surrounds our bed
in the mirror palace
with words and by touch

my tongue follows the tips
of my fingers over you
eyes lips chest and belly
                 chest and belly

and the warm trail
of your breath creates me
eyes lips chest and belly
                 chest and belly

I shape you, foot by foot
massage your soles and heels
From the slices of your tarsal bones
I follow the traces through your body
to the heartbeat of your soul

The pinching helps me to understand you
cell by cell I discreetly sense
your dreams, what is streaming
I feel that love discloses your skin
and recognize who you are, inside

I shape you, touch you
massage you, touch you
I caress your outs and ins, seeing
with amorous finger eyes who
you are – I understood your soul

On a throne of pillows I lay you down
an aureole of hair is your crown
our eyes are lights in the gloaming

Desire is all that dances and swings
our swelled lips form a kiss that sings
and seals the enchantment of loving

crotch animals who play together
eager to caress each other
in passionate wondering

we let our wildest wishes flood
release the scents of our blood
from the waving dismantling

Under me are your hands warming
my buttocks, you knead and feel
whether they tighten already, we play

lipping and licking, with each other's
softest skin and postpone

to choose between feeling and
touching, or turning around
for both at the same time, we burn

inextinguishable love in our desire
I shiver, the window is wide open

it's too late for shame
by the neighbours or to get up
yes yes open me, the whole world

is vibrating in me, in all my cells
the symphony of my life

You are a flowing body
of water in the river
just like me

rolling around you
my alluring nymph
you run fast and deep

ripple over hard rocks
and leave them smoother
in your sparkling wake

We caress the fish
embrace the water lilies
and rustle with the reeds

let us stay, it is good
here, the birds too
are swinging back

my fluvial dear
I don't want us
to reach the sea

Given in marriage, my father
with a big smile at the table
smelling of leather
his big hands

that begin his speech
with a heavy ruffle
on the shoulder of my love:
on him, I can count

He beats a burden
out of his heart, into my husband
we toast and drink
from crystal goblets

bigger than our face
a circle of distorting mirrors
in the crystal balls
we enjoy ourselves

the witnesses get drunk
they have been married for a long time
and don't care about the moon nor
beds that are waiting, asleep

We two out of two
smell sweeter together
Baby grow, I'm growing
along with your being

You already are you to me
before you really are yourself
You touch me inside
you touch me night and day

Sweetheart come sweetly in
the fruition chamber of our happiness
Sweetheart come sweetly in
bright colours

Hand come hand stroke
me before we go to sleep
Kiss me new moon
kiss me full moon

The sweetest words I invented
were for daddy, they beat in my heart
but now they are for you

Now everything is different
now I know I'm only
now an adult

My brain is converted
and it knows it
my breasts are different

and my arms will be clumsily
empty awaiting you
when you are elsewhere

I am happy and will be
if you are, we breathe
together forever

I throw away my winter thoughts
I clean the shelves in my head
I throw open eyes, nose and ears

for spring, come sweetly
in long strokes with your nails
over my back, till it is enough

Then you can go on
letting me enjoy myself
and getting slowly lost in me
in my being lost in you
nowhere and everywhere

stretched out in a soft bed
that lasts, the way I wish
I could always hover

never too heavy, never too full
in always another
spring

On blue days you are blowing
to high skies and clouds
Snow white you kiss the peaks
where you nestle in bliss

In spring you plough
wrinkles, down, down
In smooth folds you flow
over the earth, and I want

to drink your water
to feel you steaming deep, deep
inside me, chasing
until I am no longer there

Come waves, come – pave ways
Come, flow, flow – through me
I collect all your love
in oceans and seas

There is dancing in my belly
my head floats in the sky
the wind breathes a mama-will
into me, and the wind blows

papa-pictures next to the men
on whom my eyes are lingering
on which their eyes get hooked
on my gaze, breasts, belly

How can I draw one of them further
towards me? How do I take him
by the hand, take him with me?
How do I invite his fingers inside?

Come, open me
I am bridal
Make me ready
to receive you