Zywa

Zywa Angry with me

Never I wanted to tolerate anything from anyone
exept from myself, I preferred

to be lazy and if I ever once did
help a bit really everyone was amazed

and looking at me -- I already see the time
approaching no one does remember that

Ice-cold I snubbed my parents
at all times I was quarrelling

at our home there always seemed something to be
the matter and every time I was angry

with myself, while nobody was angry with me
what was even more difficult for me

then I wished to be left alone
and full of misery I sat down and cried --

the entire earth is a vale of tears
that a girl has to endure virtuously

by being beautiful every new day again
like a flower that makes people happy

Poem 852
Amsterdam, 2017-04-04
Diary 1944-1945 - 1945
Collection: Pending rain
Keyword: Freedom:
Dedicated to: Riet O

Zywa Don't know anymore

I'm an open book, sentence by sentence
lifelong, but who is reading it?
I have a husband or had one
I don't know, but he disappeared

I've been good to him
after all, I miss him most of all
what treasure came in his way
so dazzling that he forgot me?

It's empty here, if only I had someone
suitors aspiring to my hand
the winner gets except me
this house and the staff with it

     The sisters take good care
     as long as you play solitaire
     and rud rud ruddle
     rides the king through the puddle

     walking the dogs
     the girls on clogs
     and straight straight straight
     rides the king through the gate

     and lurch lurch lurch
     rides the king through the church
     now one two three
     I don't know anymore

Poem 1191
Amsterdam, 2017-03-11
In memory of Riet O at the end of her life
Collection: Webgarden
Keyword: Dementia
Dedicated to: Riet O

Zywa Later Love

After the war, I had the chance to make
a trip with colleagues to Denmark
All summer evening we danced with Danes

and I dreamed of my love

freeing him with thunderous force
from a cell in the police office
I quickly ran away with him

to our wedding and our own little house

in Helsingör, so nicely have I dreamed
of our family that only half of it
should have to come true

to make anyone else envious of me

Now, years later, we still live
with our parents, unmarried, separately
On Sunday we go for a walk, to keep on hoping

this year it will be our turn

to look at the houses in the new neighbourhoods
but my dreams are long gone
and I feel like being twenty-three years

engaged to an empty promised romance

Poem 1251
Amsterdam, 2016-04-12
Letters - 1946
Collection: Heart's Delight
Keyword: Waiting
Dedicated to: Riet O

Zywa Thinking shame

You, because you are here
you must know me
help me

You see, I am disconcerted
all sorts of things
do not fit

I have no drive, no fancy
I have hair on my chin
and spots on my shirt

There is buzz, there are
tiring odds and ends
my body is broken

I dream fragments
I have no overview
help me

Poem 228
Amsterdam, 2014-04-14
Collection: Pending rain
Keyword: Dementia
Dedicated to: Riet O

Zywa I don't know how

I don't have a speech, not even this one
nor farewells that embrace you
warm you one last time

I know the books you read
the kind of films you watched
your worries and the things you ate

yet I don't know you well enough
to really be able to say who you are
therefore my speech is this one:
your own diary to readout

We looked around and soon we found
a shady spot, where
we quite passionately
enjoyed each other

sheltered but in public
what certainly is inexcusable
so I felt embarrassed
while I cried of happiness

it was too wonderful to tell
I found it hard to explain
and didn't know how to broach it well
couldn't overcome my shame

but tomorrow night, if I'm at ease and ready
I do want to discuss my tears seriously
before his mouth touches mine

because I think, above all, they are a sign
that we shouldn't do the nice thing
no more and better restrict our delight to kissing

Poem 90
Amsterdam, 2007-09-16
Diary, July 8th - 1945
Collection: Greeting from before
Keyword: Memory:
Dedicated to: Riet O

Waterfall
Beek (Berg en Dal), 1984-11-15
Oil paint on canvas
Collection:
Keywords: , Painting
Dedicated to: Kees J, Riet O

Riet
Beek (Berg en Dal), 1981-06-12
Ink on paper
Collection:
Keywords: , Drawing
Dedicated to: Riet O

Coin (Santa Claus)
Beek (Berg en Dal), 1978-12-05
Wood (fretsaw)
Collection:
Keywords: , Santa Claus
Dedicated to: Riet O

Hans
Beek (Berg en Dal), 1977-07-04
Ink on paper
Collection:
Keywords: , Portrait
Dedicated to: Kees J, Riet O

Paul
Beek (Berg en Dal), 1973-02-02
Ink on paper
28x31cm / 45x48cm
Collection:
Keywords: , Portrait
Dedicated to: Riet O, Kees J

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