Knocked out all along:

my intestines a tangle --


a jam, mikado.


Ik ben steeds weer af:Ich bin immer raus:
mijn ingewanden bekneld --bedrängte Eingeweide --

wirwar, mikado.WirrWarr, Mikado.

Poem S1965
Amsterdam, 2023-10-19
Collection: Pending rain
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

I am sick, foggy

and incapable I am --


slurping sips of soup.


Ziek op bed liggen,Krank im Bett liegen,
wazig en tot niets in staat --verschwommen und unfähig --

slokjes soep slurpen.die Suppe schlürfen.

Poem H3400
Amsterdam, 2022-08-01
The Magic Mountain (Thomas Mann) - 1924
Novel "Der Zauberberg", $ 5 Eternity soup
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Mann, Thomas 
 

I'm sick, my visit

has left and is back again --


Nothing has happened.


Mijn ziekenbezoekDie Besucher sind
ging en is alweer terug --gegangen und wieder da --

Er is niets gebeurd.und nichts ist passiert.

Poem H3401
Amsterdam, 2022-08-01
The Magic Mountain (Thomas Mann) - 1924
Novel "Der Zauberberg", $ 5 Eternity soup
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Mann, Thomas 
 

Snoozing, a quarter

past two is like half past two --


Rounded: three o'clock.


Sluimerend is kwartAm Dösen ist ein
over twee zowat half drie --Viertel über zwei etwa --

Afgerond: drie uur.halb drei, rund: drei Uhr.

Poem H3402
Amsterdam, 2022-08-01
The Magic Mountain (Thomas Mann) - 1924
Novel "Der Zauberberg", $ 5 Eternity soup
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Mann, Thomas 
 

It's not serious

to be sick, why, serious --


that is only life.


Het is niet ernstigEs ist nicht wirklich
om ziek te zijn, nee, ernstig --ernst, krank zu sein, aber nein --

dat is het leven.ernst ist das Leben.

Poem S1483
Amsterdam, 2022-07-27
The Magic Mountain (Thomas Mann) - 1924
Novel "Der Zauberberg", § 3 Teasing
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Mann, Thomas 
 

Sanatorium,

high in the mountains it is --


quite the underworld.


Sanatorium,Sanatorium,
hoog in de bergen is het --hoch in den Bergen ist es --

een onderwereld.eine Unterwelt.

Poem S1484
Amsterdam, 2022-07-27
The Magic Mountain (Thomas Mann) - 1924
Novel "Der Zauberberg", § 3 Satana
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Mann, Thomas 
 

Zywa The silent steps

After jumping, I am now learning
the silent steps
between tears and laughter
with regular partners, dancing

around what is not possible
and what I miss
in my fantasy
and my desire

Sometimes I cry about it
What went wrong
is over, what can be
is limited

What I do must
not be a repetition
I practise new steps
on unfamiliar floors

Poem 3225
Amsterdam, 2020-10-31
Collection: Dearme
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Cloudy in my head,

showers coming from my nose --


a mist in my eyes.


Wolken in mijn hoofd,Kopf voller Wolken,
regenbuien uit mijn neus --Schauer aus meiner Nase --

mist in mijn ogen.Dampf in den Augen.

Poem H2796
, 2020-10-09
A cold
Collection: Bruises
 

Zywa Dear bodyhome [2]

It is not cosy
in my bodyhome, sweating
on the bed, I stretch out wide

to an X
(value unknown)
to cool down

but there is no wind
and the air is damp
with sorrow for my fate

and with fear that this is the last
I am able to sustain, that
thereafter, it will be too bad

(I'm not sure what -
  sometimes it is too dark
  then again the light shines too bright)

I need space and breath
to fight, I am a fighter
in my head and my belly

surrounded, constricted
and suffocated, plenty of air
but not for me?

Stings and cramps
for the danger, the gong rings
(for a new round)

Poem 3173
Amsterdam, 2020-09-17
Collection: On living on [1]
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Zywa In the Force

The old people at the club
are cheerful and mobile
enough to come
Other elderly people are handicapped
at home in their physical discomfort

I sometimes fantasize that it is 2050
and I am sitting in an easy chair
imagining what it was like in the past

and that by a miracle I am
suddenly back in that time
again feeling 24 full hours a day
what life was like
in my 38-year-old body

in the light of later, of being half-sedated
painfully worn out, almost gone
from the life I cherish

in the middle of the Force again
that flows through my sorrow
and that shines as I pass it on
to people looking for it
and having found it as I have

Poem 3169
Amsterdam, 2020-09-12
Homefun (Ellen Deckwitz) - 2020
Column "Heimpret" (in nrc.next)
Collection: Death on Cast
Tribute to: Deckwitz, Ellen 
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Disabled, I rise,

I crank up my body, tired --


before the day starts.


Onklaar sta ik op,Ich steh auf, kurble
zwengel mijn lichaam aan, moe --meinen Körper an, müde --

voor de nieuwe dag.für den neuen Tag.

Poem S1035
Amsterdam, 2020-06-19
Collection: On living on [1]
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Zywa Flowers and balloons

The defects themselves are not as bad
as the memories of the time
I didn't have them, but

well, if that is all
what it is not, time after time
and yet I keep thinking it

sometimes wondering if
and where there is a limit
to rather give up

there's still só much I want
see flowers and release balloons
around the world to touch

people with a caress
of soft thoughts and
moments of peace

Poem 2409
Amsterdam, 2019-09-16
Collection: Changing Times
 

Zywa A long-awaited home

It depends
on how I focus
Usually, I don't see anything

but the almost standstill
of slow shifts
or the to and fro

of shootings that I can't track -
life, in the city
and within me, active

even when I am passive -
metabolism and cell renewal
invisible but perceptible like the fight

for my existence and that
of the bacteria that struck me
as a long-awaited home

Poem 2396
Amsterdam, 2019-09-08
Health Care Centre of Our Lady, location East, ward B8, after 8 days in the ICU
Collection: On living on [2]
 

Earth has a fever,

it's burning somewhere inside --


There is no plan yet.


De aarde heeft koorts,Fiebrige Erde,
ergens binnenin brandt het --irgendwo drinnen brennt es --

Er is nog geen plan.Es gibt keinen Plan.

Poem S0928
Amsterdam, 2019-08-25
Health Care Centre of Our Lady, location West, ICU
Collection: On living on [1]
 

Nothing serious

for now, the doctor says, you --


can wear down your clothes.


Voorlopig is hetIm Moment nichts Ernst-
niets ernstigs, zegt de dokter --es, sagt der Arzt, tragen Sie --

Slijt uw kleren maar.Ihre Kleidung ab.

Poem H2251
Amsterdam, 2018-07-03
Clothes (Wislawa Szymborska) - 1986
Poem "Odziez" (collection "Ludzie na moscie")
Collection: Rasping ants
Tribute to: Szymborska, Wislawa 
 

I have a cold, and

I enjoy the drowsiness --


It gives me shelter.


Ik ben verkoudenIch bin erkältet
en vind de sufheid heerlijk --und liebe die Dösigkeit --

om in te schuilen.die mir Schutz bietet.

Poem H1899
Amsterdam, 2017-12-13
Diary 1970-1971 (Frida Vogels) - 2011
"Dagboek 1970-1971" - January 2nd, 1971, San Severo
Collection: Lookout
Tribute to: Vogels, Frida 
 

Zywa Come on, you don't have to

Is it crying when I cry
in my mind, bobbing

like someone drowning between driftwood
the wreckages of my hope

on myself and wise doctors?
Would the chemistry of tears give

more rest, more breath
than you, your warm body

in my back, lying
together in the landless sea?

Words would float here
just as wet and adrift, today

too small to carry me –
better you hold me, please

you don't have to talk
not to understand me

come on, you don't have to
be my saver

Poem 1379
Amsterdam, 2017-05-26
Collection: Lilith's Powers
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Zywa Morbid dead

A cold, a flu: may happen
I'm in bed, cocooned in myself
a clammy pupa
above all, I suffer

of desire, inexplicably
much more ardently I want to feel
your body, a blazing lust
of life for which I am too ill

Of course, my head lies open, naked
is my throat, scraped
by sneezing viruses
my lips are dry and burn

desirously for you
do love me, enjoy
my warmth
now I'm being reborn

Poem 1169
Amsterdam, 2017-03-09
Collection: Heart's Delight
 

Zywa Tongs and knives

Content with each step
that overcomes the tongs
of don't and the knives of do

move, I walk
more and more outside
the lines of society

in my own circlet
There's danger tinkling
in my long breath

of slowly living
step by step
I pour more and more

honey in the tea
but I refuse to flee
in the powdery snow of the night

Poem 995
Amsterdam, 2017-02-07
Collection: On living on [1]
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Zywa Dizzy on the edge

The birthday over
watched a short film
dozing, unable to sleep
Wake up with pain
Jaws, head mostly

Holding my breath

Where is the hospital here?
How you will leave there
you want to know in advance to know
what you want
what the facts are

You count
the symptoms
incomplete
so turn around
Breathe until it is light

Get up exhausted
dizzy on the edge
of the bed, feel
no pain, there
between the shoulder blades

Poem 919
Amsterdam, 2016-12-26
Collection: On living on [2]
 

Zywa I woluw

Do you know where you are going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?

the way it is, today
my own life today
softly singing on

my way to the next
crossing in the park
knowing where I'm going

left or right, always
back to friends
with whom I'm happy

Even if I don't participate
with the neighbours, all of Brussels
Berlin, Beyrouth, and Beijing

I still participate
but otherwise, living
close to myself

indoors "viewless"
today's life, softly
singing on my way

Poem 858
Amsterdam, 2016-12-01
The Woluwe flows through municipalities of the Brussels region
"Do you know where you're going to?" (1973, lyrics Michael Masser)
Collection: On living on [1]
Tribute to: Masser, Michael 
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

My room: a waste bin,

chair, chamber pot, and myself --


tossing in my bed.


Mijn kamer: een stoel,Mein Zimmer: ein Stuhl,
po en prullenbak, ikzelf --Nachttopf, Mülleimer, und ich --

woelend in het bed.mich wälzend im Bett.

Poem H0958
Amsterdam, 2014-05-29
Collection: Bruises
 

An elevator

full of weal and woe, up and --


down in my sick head.


Een trage lift volEin Aufzug voller
wel en wee zweeft op en neer --Wohl und Weh, auf und ab in --

in mijn zieke hoofd.meinem kranken Kopf.

Poem H0668
Amsterdam, 2014-01-18
I'm a mile further (Hans Lodeizen) - 1949
Poem "ik ben een mijl verder" (published in "De vrije bladen" ["The free papers"], 1949, volume 20, book 5)
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Lodeizen, Hans 
 

Wandering at home:

without a director and --


without a prompter.


Thuis rondscharrelen:Zu Hause schweifen:
zonder een regisseur en --ohne Regisseur und auch --

zonder een souffleur.ohne Vorsager.

Poem H0620
Amsterdam, 2013-10-10
Developing dementia, or other need for care
Collection: On living on [1]
 

Zywa
Keyword
Disease (suffer)		GermanDutch5-7-5
PencilPumiceRainLoves
CompressedBirdsIflessPhoto
TributesDedicationsComposersHome
Attention is like sunshineMention © Zywa when using texts,
drawings, designs, paintings and photos
Search word:  CTRL-F