Zywa Looking away

I want to forget you, to be
what you were not
mama
your eyes

have seen me for so many
years, and now
you look me away, just as so many
others do

and just as I myself
have come to look at myself
in the mirror
longing

to be seen
longing
for contact -
a lasting embrace

Poem 6129
Amsterdam, 2026-10-03
Poems by Siera Mayhew - 2026
Poems by Siera Mayhew ["Honey Love"] on AllPoetry.com:
"damn right I'm angry" (2023, Rose Brik, collection "my father's eyes, my mother's rage"),
"Naughty By Nature" (March 16th, 2026),
"27 Sounds Good" (April 25th, 2026),
"A Hunger for the Gaze" (September 19th, 2026)

Collection: Inflictions
Dedicated to: Mayhew, Siera 
 

My dear teacher is

a plaster on everything --


that bleeds from missing.


Mijn lieve schooljufDie Lehrerin ist
is een pleister op alles --ein Pflaster auf allem, was --

wat bloedt van gemis.vom Fehlen blutet.

Poem H5419
Amsterdam, 2025-04-28
The warmth fortress (Lucas Rijneveld) - 2022
Childhood memories "Het warmtefort", chapter Reuzenschouders (Giant shoulders)
Collection: Germ Substance
Tribute to: Rijneveld, Lucas 
 

I'm losing myself,

to go back, go back to you --


in your arms again.


Mezelf verliezen,Mich zu verlieren,
en terug, terug naar jou --und zurück, zurück zu dir --

weer in jouw armen.in deine Arme.

Poem S2124
Amsterdam, 2024-02-12
Going back, going back (Fernando Maldonado) - 1972
Song "Volver, volver", among others, sung by Harry Dean Stanton in the film "Lucky" (2017, John Carroll Lynch)
Harry Dean Stanton (1926-2017)

Collection: Inwardings
Tribute to: Maldonado, Fernando; Stanton, Harry Dean 
 

I loved you madly,

I'd miss you if only you --


were a better man.


Ik was gek op jou,Ich würde dich wohl
ik mis je nog, was je maar --vermissen, wenn du nur ein --

een betere man.besserer Mann wärst.

Poem H4068
Amsterdam, 2023-08-21
Better Man (Taylor Swift) - 2021
Song (album "Red (Taylor's Version)")
Collection: After the festivities
Tribute to: Swift, Taylor 
 

Maybe I rather

miss it than to perish in --


definite delight.


Misschien mis ik hetDer Mangel mag mir
liever dan dat ik omkom --lieber sein, als zu enden --

in ultiem genot.in höchster Wonne.

Poem S1551
Amsterdam, 2022-10-26
It might be lonelier (Emily Dickinson) - 1862
Poem (Franklin #353, Johnson #405)
Collection: Finethreads
Tribute to: Dickinson, Emily 
 

Throughout the party

there was a void next to me:


exactly your size.


Heel de feestavondAm ganzen Abend
was er een leegte naast mij:spürte ich eine Lücke:

precies jouw grootte.so groß wie du bist.

Poem S0934
Amsterdam, 2019-09-24
Through the water surface (Tomas Lieske) - 2014
Novel "Door de waterspiegel"
Collection: Em Brace
Tribute to: Lieske, Tomas 
 

I endure the chill

of the constantly missed love --


snowing upon me.


Ik verdraag de kouIch ertrage die
van de gemiste liefde --Kälte vermisster Liebe --

die maar blijft sneeuwen.die immer noch schneit.

Poem S0599
Amsterdam, 2017-12-14
The love that snows on those who no longer ask for it (Frida Vogels) - 2011
Poem "De liefde die sneeuwt op wie er niet meer om vraagt" (diary 1970-1971)
Collection: Lookout
Tribute to: Vogels, Frida 
 

I endure the chill

of the constantly missed love --


snowing upon me.


Ik verdraag de kouIch ertrage die
van de gemiste liefde --Kälte vermisster Liebe --

die maar blijft sneeuwen.die immer noch schneit.

Poem S0599
Amsterdam, 2017-12-14
The love that snows on him who asks for it no more (Frida Vogels) - 1994
Verse "De liefde die sneeuwt op wie er niet meer om vraagt", published in the collection "De harde kern 3" ("The hard core 3" [part X, Father]), and in "Diary 1970-1971" (2011) - September 13ht, 1971, Bologna
Collection: Lookout
Tribute to: Vogels, Frida 
 

My soul searches you,

I fly further and further --


and I do not land.


Mijn ziel speurt naar jou,Meine Seele sucht
ik vlieg verder en verder --dich und fliegt immer weiter --

zonder te landen.ohne zu landen.

Poem H1330
Amsterdam, 2015-09-21
Hard strange hands (Hilde Domin) - 1953
Poem "Harte fremde Hände"
Collection: VacantVoid
Tribute to: Domin, Hilde 
 

I'm just pretending,

when I go to sleep again --


as if you are there.


Ik doe maar alsof,Ich tue als ob,
wanneer ik weer ga slapen --wenn ich wieder schlafen geh --

alsof jij er bent.als ob du da bist.

Poem S0274
Amsterdam, 2015-02-03
I hope you're doing badly (Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer, Ellen ten Damme) - 2009
Poem/Song "Ik hoop dat het slecht met je gaat" (album "Durf jij"), sung by Ellen ten Damme
Collection: Palace of the night
Tribute to: Pfeijffer, Ilja Leonard; Ten Damme, Ellen 
 

The flag has long frays,

like her hair when she left me --


Her hair in the wind.


Lange vlagrafels,Die ausgefranste
zoals haar haren bij haarFahne, wie ihre Haare --

vertrek in de wind.im Wind, als sie ging.

Poem H1014
Amsterdam, 2014-07-15
Collection: Local traffic
 

Caress pier blocks blue

with barnacles goosebumpcold--


My king where are you?


Streel pierblokken blauwStreichle Pierblöcke
met pokken kippenvelkou --mit Pocken Gänsehautfrost --

Koning waar ben je?König, wo bist du?

Poem H0809
Amsterdam, 2014-02-25
Fragments - 1 (M. Vasalis) - 1954
Poem "Fragmenten" - 1 (collection "Vergezichten en gezichten")
Collection: Loves Tricks Gains Pains in the years 1940-1959
Tribute to: Vasalis, M. 
 

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