Zywa How small

How small can life still
be interesting?
How small can my world
still be big enough?
How small can I

make the pain and
remain clear
remain in shape
remain a human being
with the little

that still functions
miraculously
in my body
in my head
in social care?

Can anything cute up
the days
myself and
my future?
Perhaps you?

Poem 5748
Amsterdam, 2025-12-13
Collection: On living on [1]
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Rarely anyone

comes to the old house, tearing --


apart from neglect.


In het oude huisIn das alte Haus
komt zelden iemand, het scheurt --kommt kaum jemand, es reißt, aus --

van verwaarlozing.Vernachlässigung.

Poem S2806
Amsterdam, 2025-07-28
Subsiding, becoming dilapidated (Frida Vogels) - 1994
Verse "Verzakken, bouwvallig worden", published in the collection "De harde kern 3" ("The hard core 3", part VII [Acquiescence]), and in "Diary 1964-1965" (2008) - May 8th, 1964, Bologna
Collection: Self-portraits
Tribute to: Vogels, Frida 
 

We are doing well,

we are not afraid of death --


only of decay.


We hebben het goed,Uns geht's gut, keine
zijn niet bang voor de dood, wel --Angst vor dem Tod, nur Angst vor --

voor aftakeling.der Altersschwäche.

Poem H5444
Amsterdam, 2025-05-07
Collection: Local inconveniences
 

Eighty or eighty?

Their eighty is old, but I --


am not one of them.


Tachtig of tachtig?Achtzig Jahre alt?
Hun tachtig is oud, maar ik --Ihre achtzig ist alt, ich --

hoor daar echt niet bij.gehör nicht dazu.

Poem H5446
Amsterdam, 2025-05-07
Collection: Local inconveniences
 

Life was a party,

now I'm lying in the stench --


of my own urine.


Het leven was eenDas Leben war schön,
feest, nu lig ik in de stank --jetzt liege ich im Gestank --

van mijn urine.Dem meines Urins.

Poem H5245
Amsterdam, 2025-02-10
Seventy years and more (Tosui Unkei) - 1683
Poem by the Zen-monk Tosui Unkei (1610-1683), included in the 1986 collection "Japanese Death Poems", compiled by Yoel Hoffmann: "Seventy years and more / I have tasted life to its utmost / The stench of urine sticks to my bones / What matter all these? / Ho! Where is the place I return to? / Above the peak the moonlight whitens / A clear wind blows"
Collection: After the festivities
Tribute to: Tosui, Unkei 
 

With an effort, dad

unfolds his body, swinging --


it into balance.


Moeizaam vouwt papaMühsam entfaltet
zijn lichaam uit, hij schommelt --Vater seinen Körper, wiegt --

zich in evenwicht.sich ins Gleichgewicht.

Poem H5033
Amsterdam, 2024-11-01
Family package: Handhold (Storm Chabot) - 2024
Collection of family stories "Gezinsverpakking" (by 'De Chabotten'), story "Handvast"
Collection: After the festivities
Tribute to: Chabot, Storm 
 

I'm getting worse, but

don't take away from me what --


you can do better.


Ik ga achteruit,Bitte nimm mir doch
maar neem me niet uit handen --nicht aus den Händen, was du --

wat jij beter kunt.besser machen kannst.

Poem S2387
De Koog, 2024-09-28
Collection: Local tardiness
 

He is old, his mouth

does not smile with charm, but grins --


like a skeleton.


Hij is oud, zijn mondEr ist alt, sein Mund
lacht niet betoverend, maar --lächelt nicht charmant, sondern --

grijnst als een skelet.grinst wie ein Skelett.

Poem H4589
Amsterdam, 2024-04-02
The Moor's Last Sigh (Salman Rushdie) - 1995
Novel, chapter "Spices from Malabar", (2-) 11
Collection: Sludge
Tribute to: Rushdie, Salman 
 

He's vulnerable,

just look at the craquelure --


over grandpa's eyes.


Opa is kwetsbaar,Er ist verletzlich,
kijk maar naar het craquelé --sieh einfach den Craquelé --

over zijn ogen.in Opas Augen.

Poem H4395
Amsterdam, 2023-12-25
Midnight's Children (Salman Rushdie) - 1981
Novel, chapter 2-11 "Revelations"
Collection: Shadows
Tribute to: Rushdie, Salman 
 

My thoughts: still youthful,

my eagerness: middle-aged --


my muscles: grown old.


Mijn gedachten: jong,Die Gedanken: jung,
mijn gretigheid: middelbaar,die Begierde: mittlere,

mijn spieren: bejaard.die Muskeln: bejahrt.

Poem H4072
Amsterdam, 2023-08-24
Collection: Metamorphic body
 

My children meeting

about me, apparently --


I am that old now.


Besproken wordenVon meinen Kindern
door mijn kinderen, zo oud --viel besprochen zu werden...

ben ik blijkbaar al.so alt bin ich schon.

Poem S1871
Amsterdam, 2023-08-19
thoughts (Antjie Krog) - 2022
Poem "gedachtes" (collection "Plunder" ["Pillage"])
Collection: Over
Tribute to: Krog, Antjie 
 

Seventy: omens

I'm gradually losing --


you, my sweet body.


Zeventig: tekensSiebzig: Anzeichen,
dat ik jou stilaan kwijtraak --allmählich verliere ich --

mijn lieve lichaam.dich, süßen Körper.

Poem H4044
Amsterdam, 2023-08-16
the making visible of all kinds of raids (Antjie Krog) - 2022
Poem "die sigbaarmaking van allerlei strooptogte"(collection "Plunder" ["Pillage"])
Collection: Stall
Tribute to: Krog, Antjie 
 

I feel illnesses,

where time has sunk its talons --


into my organs.


Ik lijd aan ziektes,Krankheiten, wo die
waar de tijd zijn klauwen sloeg --Zeit in meine Organe --

in mijn organen.ihre Krallen schlug.

Poem H4034
Amsterdam, 2023-08-13
that's when we notice (Antjie Krog) - 2022
Poem "dis wanneer ons agterkom" (collection "Plunder" ["Pillage"])
Collection: After the festivities
Tribute to: Krog, Antjie 
 

It makes me dizzy,

that word with a t is gone --


Where is the sinkhole?


Ineens duizelt het me,Mir wird schwindelig,
dat woord met een t is weg --das t-Wort ist verschwunden --

Waar is het zinkgat?Wo ist der Erdfall?

Poem S1859
Amsterdam, 2023-08-13
that's when we notice (Antjie Krog) - 2022
Poem "dis wanneer ons agterkom" (collection "Plunder" ["Pillage"])
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: Krog, Antjie 
 

I repeated it

every day, until the word --


escaped me again.


Ik oefende het,Ich übte das Wort
woord elke dag totdat het --den ganzen Tag, bis es mir --

me weer ontsnapte.wieder entwischte.

Poem S1860
Amsterdam, 2023-08-13
that's when we notice (Antjie Krog) - 2022
Poem "dis wanneer ons agterkom" (collection "Plunder" ["Pillage"])
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: Krog, Antjie 
 

Approaching our house

I hear you, somewhere you cough --


out bits of old age.


Wanneer ik thuiskomVor unserem Haus
hoor ik je, ergens hoest je --höre ich dich, du hustest --

wat ouderdom uit.Altersspuren aus.

Poem S1857
Amsterdam, 2023-08-12
that's when everything seems to fall apart (Antjie Krog) - 2022
Poem "dis wanneer alles lyk asof dit ineenstort" (collection "Plunder" ["Pillage"])
Collection: Stall
Tribute to: Krog, Antjie 
 

In the hospital

lounge he takes a seat and falls --


asleep exhausted.


In de zitkamerIn der Sitzecke
van het ziekenhuis valt hij --des Hospitals fällt er vor --

uitgeput in slaap.Erschöpfung in Schlaf.

Poem H3597
Amsterdam, 2022-12-03
The Office - Plankton (Han Voskuil) - 1997
Novel "Het Bureau - Plankton"
Page 810, Maarten, Klaas and Nicolien Koning (1974)

Collection: Dirty hands
Tribute to: Voskuil, Han 
 

Father, now waddling

from left to right, seems to walk --


on spherical feet.


Vader zwalkt van linksVater schwankt von links
naar rechts, hij lijkt te lopen --nach rechts, als ob er schreitet --

op ronde voeten.auf runden Füßen.

Poem S1588
Amsterdam, 2022-12-02
The Office - Plankton (Han Voskuil) - 1997
Novel "Het Bureau - Plankton"
Page 564, Maarten, Nicolien and Klaas Koning (1974)

Collection: Dirty hands
Tribute to: Voskuil, Han 
 

Father's small suitcase:

he opens it, closes it --


exhausted and sad.


Vader's koffertje:Vaters Köfferchen:
hij opent het, sluit het weer --er öffnet es und schließt es --

uitgeput en triest.erschöpft und traurig.

Poem S1589
Amsterdam, 2022-12-02
The Office - Plankton (Han Voskuil) - 1997
Novel "Het Bureau - Plankton"
Page 561 and 566, Maarten, Klaas and Nicolien Koning (1974)

Collection: Dirty hands
Tribute to: Voskuil, Han 
 

The doctor wavers,

he sighs and looks through me, so --


I already know.


De dokter aarzelt,Herr Doktor zögert,
hij zucht en kijkt door mij heen --er seufzt und schaut durch mich, ja --

dus ik weet het al.ich verstehe schon.

Poem H3493
Amsterdam, 2022-10-08
The doctor (Rutger Kopland) - 2008
Poem "De dokter" (collection "Toen ik dit zag")
Collection: After the festivities
Tribute to: Kopland, Rutger 
 

My metamorphic

body has become meagre --


transparent by now.


Mijn wissellichaamMein Wechselkörper
verdwijnt, mijn buik wordt mager --schwindet, der Bauch wird mager --

is al doorzichtig.ist schon durchscheinend.

Poem H3397
Amsterdam, 2022-07-30
Collection: Metamorphic body
 

I am not ugly,

my ruptures and shortcomings --


are worth a lifetime.


Ik ben niet lelijk,Ich bin nicht hässlich,
mijn scheuren en gebreken --meine Risse und Fehler --

zijn een leven waard.sind ein Leben wert.

Poem H3014
Amsterdam, 2021-08-16
Human wabi-sabi (acceptance of impermanence and imperfection)
Wabi = feeling miserable and lonely, remote from society
Sabi = old age, decay, withering

Collection: On living on [1]
 

I feel very old

in this weather, in this cold --


as fragile as glass.


Ik voel me heel oudIch fühle mich schon
met dit weer, met deze kou --sehr alt bei diesem Wetter --

zo breekbaar als glas.zerbrechlich wie Glas.

Poem H2844
Amsterdam, 2020-12-06
No One Writes to the Colonel (Gabriel García Márquez) - 1961
Novella "El colonel no tiene quién le escriba", chapter 7
Collection: Dream flight
Tribute to: García Márquez, Gabriel 
 

Well, getting older,

it goes, but it goes less and --


less without effort.


Tsja, ouder worden,Nun, älter werden,
het gaat wel, maar steeds minder --es geht, aber weniger --

steeds minder vanzelf.weniger von selbst.

Poem S0895
Vlissingen, 2019-06-06
Collection: Greeting from before
 

That old age problem,

of course you know, I have it --


anyway, type 3!


Die ouderdomskwaal,Die Alterskrankheit,
weet je wel, die heb ik dus --du weißt schon, die habe ich --

maar dan type 3.spezifisch Typ-III.

Poem H2422
Amsterdam, 2019-03-28
Collection: Greeting from before
 

Zywa Foghorn

How wonderful it is
to be foam
all of us together, big wads

of hungry human foam, a fog
of life, and I a flake
in colours of my own, I

need to lament for a moment
in my most pathetic voice
and blow that I exist, I

already dissolve, way too soon
not like when
I was just born and grew

of my own waste
no, it is shrinking
I'm eating myself

The doctors have explained it
They hope to learn from me
and to know more later

Poem 991
Amsterdam, 2017-02-05
Collection: Local traffic
 

Zywa #old

I have felt old today
the food squeezes my gut
and the words slip away
out of my torn nets

With some ifs and buts
I can still participate
calmly and comfortably
riding in a sidecar

without philosofolly
or showing the way
only a joke if it works
Inside, I am collapsing

I often go for a pee
but nothing comes out
of my head and my hands
I have a chat with the neighbours

For me, no thick enjoyment
between golden bars
or sitting between
fate-fellows, waiting

for attention and the future
of acquaintances and family
I'm just tired, so
you shouldn't want anything from me

Poem 606
Amsterdam, 2016-03-28
Collection: On living on [2]
 

The organ bellows

sigh while breathing in and out --


the ancient music.


De orgelbalgenDie Orgelbälge
zuchten bij het ademen --seufzen leise beim Atmen --

van oude muziek.der alten Musik.

Poem H0267
Amsterdam, 2012-04-21
Organism (Wouter Snoei) - 2012
Composition for organ, bellows stepper and electronics, performed in the Organpark on April 21st, 2012
Collection: ORG anp ark 
Composer: Snoei, Wouter 
 

Zywa Vishnu's circle

My thick white naked leg
up, crooked

weak, the flesh of my poorly muscled arm
the middle finger touching the top
of the big toe, a circle

an only just made contact with myself

These goings and the weary
increasingly the weary

of it all, not knowing where
with whom and when, but
anyway ever unnoticed

a turning point, passed

Poem 93
Train Nijmegen-Amsterdam, 2007-10-12
Collection: Moons
 

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