Zywa Attempt

In Mama's diary, I read
that she wanted to
matter in society

did not want to
become the traditional wife
started practising at home

and offset household chores
against the money she brought in
as a bank employee

But it was not easy
The war and housing shortage
put it on the shelf

and Papa's work kept her indoors
Between dream and deed stood
propriety and practical objections

which her willpower could hardly
measure up to, discouraged
by the pious mother image

from her youth, and the compelling
reasoning at night in bed
with a kiss on her feelings

Poem 6069
Amsterdam, 2026-06-30
Poem "Het huwelijk" ("The Marriage", 1910, Willem Elsschot)
On the anniversary of the death of Riet O (1923-2011)

Collection: Greeting from before
Tribute to: Elsschot, Willem 
Dedicated to: Riet O 
 

Zywa Liberation

What is true? I am truly
the man I see in the mirror
with my eyes wide open, devoid

of pitifulness
and, no matter what happens
I am free now, Mama

more beautiful than the man
you wanted to see, the one I was
because everything seemed easier then

but I am no longer that
jester, I'm starting over
with or without you

You don't have to cry
I no longer wish
I had never been born

I am free now, Mama
I am not in hell
I dedicate my life

to how I was made
no matter how difficult that is
no matter how things turn out

Poem 5799
Amsterdam, 2025-12-31
Bohemian Rhapsody (Freddie Mercury, Queen) - 1975
Song (album "A Night at the Opera")
Collection: Reaching out
Tribute to: Mercury, Freddie; Queen 
 

She can put a smile

over her tiredness and --


her desire to cry.


Ze legt een glimlachSie legt ein Lächeln
over haar moeheid en drang --über ihre Müdigkeit --

om uit te huilen.und ihr Selbstmitleid.

Poem H4874
Amsterdam, 2024-08-24
The Black Prince (Iris Murdoch) - 1973
Comical novel, A Celebration of Love, part One
Collection: Dreams of love
Tribute to: Murdoch, Iris 
 

It may be decent

manners that I seem sad, but --


to me it's boring.


Het hoorde wel zo,Es gehört sich so,
dat ik verdrietig leek, maar --dass ich traurig bin, aber --

ik vond er niets aan.mir ist langweilig.

Poem S2052
Amsterdam, 2023-12-15
Big Eight (Vrouwkje Tuinman) - 2005
Novel "Grote acht" (route of two circles in dressage), chapter Seventeen (years old)
Collection: Blankets of snow
Tribute to: Tuinman, Vrouwkje 
 

Watch my three black holes,

watch my eyes and my mouth, watch --


my masked singing soul.


Drie zwarte gaten:Drei schwarze Löcher:
ogen en mond, gemaskerd --die Augen, der Mund, maskiert --

mijn zingende ziel.singt meine Seele.

Poem S2018
Amsterdam, 2023-11-26
Gaze Units (Yannis Kyriakides) - 2023
Composition #166, for face-detection software and hyperorgan, performed by soprano Michaela Riener in the Organpark on November 26th, 2023
Collection: org ANP ark 
Composer: Kyriakides, Yannis 
 

A convulsing mask.

My face is a smooth white mesh:


alive I am dead.


Stuiptrekkend masker.Zuckende Maske.
Mijn gezicht is een wit gaas:Mein Gesicht ein weißes Netz:

levend ben ik dood.lebendig und tot.

Poem S2019
Amsterdam, 2023-11-26
Gaze Units (Yannis Kyriakides) - 2023
Composition #166, for face-detection software and hyperorgan, performed by soprano Michaela Riener in the Organpark on November 26th, 2023
Collection: org ANP ark 
Composer: Kyriakides, Yannis 
 

The words keep whining

in my head, they're complaining --


their imposed silence.


De woorden zeuren,Die Worte jammern
in mijn hoofd, ze beklagen --in meinem Kopf, beweinen --

jankend hun zwijgen.klagend ihr Schweigen.

Poem S2021
Amsterdam, 2023-11-26
Walls have ears (Yannis Kyriakides) - 2013
Composition #108, for voice, string quartet and video, to the poem "Savas Zamani" ("Wartime", 2011) by Mehmet Yashin; performed by Quatuor Bozzini in the Organpark on November 26th, 2023
Collection: org ANP ark 
Tribute to: Yashin, Mehmet 
Composer: Kyriakides, Yannis 
 

Hear, I am praying

to God every day, please, do --


let me play music.


Ik bid elke dagIch bete täglich
tot God, alstublieft, laat me --zu Gott, bitte, lasse mich --

toch muziek maken.doch Musik machen.

Poem S1485
Amsterdam, 2022-07-29
God, Allow Me (Please) to Play Music (Voice of Baceprot) - 2021
Song
Collection: May the Might
Tribute to: Voice of Baceprot 
 

Zywa Inability

Can I get past my shame
to tell about myself?

About my fear
to be different
my fear of the reactions
that may change everything

I want to laugh, live
a festive life, come on
put on music, let's dance
and maybe we'll trust

each other enough
to be open
It's not an exam
we don't have to fight

ourselves, sorry
for speaking on your behalf too

Poem 3430
Amsterdam, 2021-02-01
Interview by Martin Simek
On the radio, Martin Simek interviews Dhyan Sutorius (December 14th, 2008)
Collection: Lilith's Powers
Tribute to: Simek, Martin 
 

The mouth I moulded

screams a hole, the hole in her --


belly is silent.


Ik boetseer een vrouw,Ich modelliere.
haar mond schreeuwt een gat, het gat --Der Mund der Frau schreit ein Loch --

in haar buik is stil.das Bauchloch ist still.

Poem S1103
Amsterdam, 2020-12-11
Vanishing point (Wytske Versteeg) - 2020
Story "Verdwijnpunt"
Collection: VacantVoid
Tribute to: Versteeg, Wytske 
Dedicated to: Maria Godschalk 
 

Zywa Showing colours

Call them white, grey or black
the clouds of nice words

and concealments
in which I'm standing

for the sake of convenience while
taking one step closer is easy

I don't have to know much
maybe even nothing

of you
to dare to show

my colours: brown
my thoughts, mosaic

my emotion, without any pink
of shame – my supreme

and most beautiful, honest
I, worthy of myself

and the all-seeing eye
of the world, blue

is my blue, violet my violet
no gold, nor filters

Poem 1564
Amsterdam, 2017-10-08
Collection: Without reserve
 

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