Ah, as if I no

longer exist, my mother --


doesn't recognise me.


Alsof ik niet meerAch, als ob ich nicht
besta, mijn lieve mama --mehr existiere, Mami --
herkent me niet meer.erkennt mich nicht mehr.

Poem S2719
Amsterdam, 2025-06-15
Three Colours: Blue (Krzysztof Kieslowski) - 1993
Film "Trois couleurs: Bleu" - Liberté (Liberty)
Collection: Blown sand
Tribute to: Kieslowski, Krzysztof 
 

The visitors help

her search, can anyone find --


her as she once was?


Het bezoek helpt haarDer Besuch hilft ihr
graag met zoeken, maar wie vindt --bei der Suche, wer findet --
haar zoals ze was?sie so, wie sie war?

Poem S2406
Amsterdam, 2024-10-11
Is it today or yesterday (M. Vasalis) - 2002
Poem "Is het vandaag of gistren" (collection "De oude kustlijn")
Collection: Over
Tribute to: Vasalis, M. 
 

You still live in your

body, yet I no longer --


find you at home there.


Jouw oude lichaamDu bewohnst immer
bewoon je nog, en toch tref --noch deinen Körper, dennoch --
ik je niet meer thuis.bist du nicht mehr da.

Poem S2118
Amsterdam, 2024-02-08
Nurse (Ed Leeflang) - 1981
Poem "Oppas" (collection "Bewoond als ik ben")
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: Leeflang, Ed 
 

My son says his name.

It confuses me, it's not --


the name we gave him.


Mijn zoon stelt zich voor.Mein Sohn stellt sich vor.
Met een heel andere naam --Diesen Namen haben wir --
dan wij hem gaven.ihm nicht gegeben!

Poem S1892
Amsterdam, 2023-08-28
The Ageing (Freek de Jonge) - 2004
Performance "De vergrijzing", #6 of the series "The ageing"
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: De Jonge, Freek 
 

Where do I end up?

Didn't I steer well or am I --


being pushed away?


Waar kom ik terecht?Wo lande ich nun?
Heb ik niet goed gestuurd of --Habe ich falsch gesteuert?
word ik weggeduwd?Schiebt mich jemand weg?

Poem H4087
Amsterdam, 2023-08-28
The Ageing (Freek de Jonge) - 2004
Performance "De vergrijzing", #6 of the series "The ageing"
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: De Jonge, Freek 
 

What keeps me awake

is something I want to know --


and have forgotten.


Wat mij wakker houdtMich hält etwas wach,
is iets wat ik wil weten --was ich wissen möchte und --
en ben vergeten.vergessen habe.

Poem S1681
Amsterdam, 2023-02-17
The leftist is the saddest (Lies Van Gasse) - 2008
Poem "De linkse is de droefste" (collection "Hetzelfde gedicht steeds weer")
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: Van Gasse, Lies 
 

I like to think I'm

alone all morning, drowning --


in a sea of tea.


Ik denk graag 's ochtendsIch denke gerne,
alleen te zijn, verdrinkend --dass ich morgens allein bin --
in een zee van thee.ertrinkend im Tee.

Poem S1682
Amsterdam, 2023-02-17
The leftist is the saddest (Lies Van Gasse) - 2008
Poem "De linkse is de droefste" (collection "Hetzelfde gedicht steeds weer")
Collection: MistI
Tribute to: Van Gasse, Lies 
 

Our life together,

our story, our connection --


but a vague feeling.


Ons leven samen,Ach, unser Leben,
ons verhaal, onze band --unsere Geschichte, noch --
een vaag gevoel nog.ein vages Gefühl.

Poem S1326
Amsterdam, 2022-01-31
Collection: The Yellow House Museum
 

Mum's dementia:

some visits are fine, they are --


never easy though.


Dementie: mamaDemenz: der Besuch
bezoeken valt wel eens mee --bei Mutti geht manchmal gut --
maar altijd tegen.ist aber nie leicht.

Poem S1073
Amsterdam, 2020-10-26
Pit with rats (Marcel van Roosmalen) - 2020
Column "Kuil met ratten" in nrc.next
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Van Roosmalen, Marcel 
 

Dementia: rats

gnaw your head empty, softly --


their fur is itchy.


Dementie: rattenDemenz: Hausratten
knagen je hoofd leeg, heel zacht --nagen deinen Kopf leer, sanft --
jeuken hun vachten.jucken die Felle.

Poem S1074
Amsterdam, 2020-10-26
Pit with rats (Marcel van Roosmalen) - 2020
Column "Kuil met ratten" in nrc.next
Collection: Moist glow
Tribute to: Van Roosmalen, Marcel 
 

Zywa Don't know anymore

I'm an open book, sentence by sentence
lifelong, but who is reading it?
I have a husband or had one
I don't know, but he disappeared

I've been good to him
after all, I miss him most of all
what treasure came in his way
so dazzling that he forgot me?

It's empty here, if only I had someone
suitors aspiring to my hand
the winner gets except me
this house and the staff with it

     The sisters take good care
     as long as you play solitaire
     and rud rud ruddle
     rides the king through the puddle

     walking the dogs
     the girls on clogs
     and straight straight straight
     rides the king through the gate

     and lurch lurch lurch
     rides the king through the church
     now one two three
     I don't know anymore

Poem 1191
Amsterdam, 2017-03-11
In memory of Riet O at the end of her life
Collection: Webgarden
Dedicated to: Riet O 
 

Zywa Swing

Look

My hands
They should do something
But I don't know what

Nobody needs me
Boring days, empty hands
Leaves in the wind

And sand
I'm watching the sand
Look

A photo
Lace curtains on the windows
And a shadow behind it

Mama, you know
It's you
Look

Our house, the garden
The arbour where daddy had coffee
and was writing

Here you are reading
On the swing, just like now
in the rocking chair

But you don't read anymore
You watch
TV, that's all

Poem 1185
Amsterdam, 2017-03-10
Collection: Webgarden
 

Zywa Thinking shame

You, because you are here
you must know me
help me

You see, I am disconcerted
all sorts of things
do not fit

I have no drive, no fancy
I have hair on my chin
and spots on my shirt

There is buzz, there are
tiring odds and ends
my body is broken

I dream fragments
I have no overview
help me

Poem 228
Amsterdam, 2014-04-14
Collection: Pending rain
Dedicated to: Riet O 
 

Wandering at home:

without a director and --


without a prompter.


Thuis rondscharrelen:Zu Hause schweifen:
zonder een regisseur en --ohne Regisseur und auch --
zonder een souffleur.ohne Vorsager.

Poem H0620
Amsterdam, 2013-10-10
Developing dementia, or other need for care
Collection: On living on [1]
 

The words are shadows,

vague and fleeting in the cave --


of the aged head.


Woorden zijn schimmen,Worte sind Schatten,
vaag en vluchtig in de grot --verschwommen in der Höhle --
van het oude hoofd.des alten Kopfes.

Poem S0049
Amsterdam, 2012-02-28
Allegory of the cave (375 BC, Plato, dialogue "Politeia" ["Republic"], VII 514a-520a)
Collection: On living on [1]
 

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